A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush - Spike Milligan
R.I.P.Tom Conlon O'Rourke.Not Dead, just Sleeping. - Spike Milligan
With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate. - Spike Milligan
Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan
For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. - Spike Milligan
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death. - Spike Milligan
Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B? - Spike Milligan
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? - Spike Milligan
(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill". - Spike Milligan
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan
The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all. - Spike Milligan